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MySQL Workbench on Remote Snow Leopard Server

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How do I connect to MySQL on Snow Leopard Server using Workbench ???
I have freed up some of the permissions, such as port 3306, in the firewall section of Admin. However,
this has not done the job and need to keep a firewall on a server running remotely. It is necessary to connect to MySQL before you install the database. It is needed because you must connect to the server in order to install the database enabling the script of the SQL file. I get an error that says: "Lost connection to MySQL server at 'reading initial communication packet,' error 61." This happens when I press the button in Workbench that says: "Test Connection." I can go into MySQL and enter a password and create a database. This is necessary to load the actual data at a later time. I am also using Cold Fusion. This, too, is waiting for a connection to the MySQL server from Workbench.
Any ideas ???? Thx, Ted
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The best answer: If this is Adobe Workbench as I might suspect, that's probably the wrong tool to use for troubleshooting connections and related.
Try [Sequel Pro|http://www.sequelpro.com> or another similar tool.
If you're running remotely via VPN, that adds additional complexity to the configuration. As part of both local and particularly remote testing, using light-weight diagnostics (such as ping) would be warranted. This before running any juggernaut-class packages over the link.
(Put bluntly, very few juggernaut-class software packages from most any vendor will generate decent diagnostics for network errors.)